As the local elections loom, our beloved UKIP have released their new, improved (and grammatically sound) manifesto to show us just what a modern, 21st century party they really are.
As local election co-ordinator Jonathan Arnott explains "It has taken us a long time to get used to the idea that there is a lot more that the UK Independence party must be talking about". Hmmm, the single-issue party label wearing a bit thin, is it? Despite attempts to broaden their policy spectrum, their lack of homework is self-evident.
Take their section on transport for instance seeking "Closer local control of public transport and improved safety, particularly at night". Sounds like a positive mantra for such a forward-thinking ensemble, n'est-ce pas? And the altruism is twofold, with their plans to save visitors to the capital a few pennies with a defiant "Say NO to crackpot congestion charges". With such extraordinary policies in place, our roads would be the safest in the world.... because the mass influx of private vehicles lured back to a free-entry London would have brought all the buses to a permanent standstill!
The financial thriftiness and road safety theme continues with the call to "Remove speed cameras unless they cut accidents". Well, naturally, why would we need them with all that inert traffic in our cities? Not forgetting that if you live in a rural area there is, of course, no risk at all to life or limb from speeding vehicles. Fruitcakes!
And the principal objective of the manifesto? "Reorganise local taxes to slash council tax by 50%". Nice traditional vote-wooing material there, but this, coupled with funding lost through scrapping socially and environmentally responsible congestion charges and speed cameras would merely leave the transport system in dilapidation. Unless hailing a glorified skateboard to work on a wet winter morning down a pot-holed A-road is your cup of darjeeling, you had better get those rusty cogs to come up with a few more realistic policies. Unconvinced we remain!