Thursday, March 27

Godders and Tim Kirkhope - the end of the Bentley affair

Godfrey Bloom continues to cultivate his reputation as a throwback to Colonel Blimp and is always good for a chuckle. He is famous for a love of the high-life - commenting when he saw his £60,000 MEPs salary that "I can't possibly live on that". His latest foray into the press would indicate that he may have had a point, since one of Godfrey's 'passions' is his beloved 1982 classic Bentley and his membership of the Bentley Drivers' Club.

He is not the only Yorkshire MEP to favour the Bentley as his drive of choice; Tory Tim Kirkhope is a fellow enthusiast and member of Godders' driving club.

However, their enjoying friendship as Bentley lovers has bitten the dust, after Godders', taking umbrage at being fined £400 by President Pöttering for heckling the Portuguese Prime Minister, bizarrely claimed that Kirkhope was responsible for the fine as a member of the Parliament's Constitutional Affairs committee. The great man even accused Tim of "caddish behaviour". In the words of Frankie Howerd: "Ooh er missus".

Accusing a fellow classic car owner of "caddish behaviour" is the thin end of the wedge and hardly the way a true gentleman should behave. Watch out for Kirkhope challenging Godders to a dual - pistols at dawn, sir!

Shock horror! Racist homophobe turns down UKIP seat!

Spend a little time with the average u-kipper and they will invariably try and persuade you that they're not all Johnny foreigner hating loons. Some of them even like to describe UKIP as being a libertarian, 'eurorealist' party.

But, as UKIPwatcher has seen, scrape the UKIP façade and you find racism, homophobia, sexism and appalling bigotry.

The latest example is the farce over Sean Gabb, who spoke at a UKIP rally in Exeter on 8th March and was invited to another rally in Morecambe this Saturday, only to have the invitation withdrawn when some U-kippers took umbrage at his unique brand of 'libertarianism'.

Sean Gabb is the director of the Libertarian Alliance (this is ironic naming in the same way that the hard-right anti-immigration organisation set up by the McWhirter brothers calls itself the Freedom Association). He alleges (and this has not been denied by UKIP) that during the conference he was approached by a "(sic) senior person in UKIP… and asked if I would like to stand in the European elections…with a position on the party list that would give me some chance of being elected".

All seemingly normal UKIP activity, as the party is always desperate for candidates. However, Mr Gabb's politics are so extreme they should make even Nigel Farage's eyes water. Clearly no fan of black or gay people, Mr Gabb says that he would be happy for employers and pub landlords to be allowed to say "niggers and faggots need not apply" in the advertisements. Gabb's other policy positions include legalising all drugs, decriminalising the possession of child pornography and repealing the UK's race relations laws. So there we have it: an unabashed racist, homophobe who has no problem with child exploitation being legal.

Gabb says that he turned down the offer (although he will continue to vote UKIP and describes them as "our last and our best hope in politics"), but the bottom line is that UKIP invited this despicable individual to speak at a party rally and then courted him as a candidate. The whole episode really tells you all you need to know about UKIPs warped politics and is another reminder that Nigel Farage's UKIP are no better than the BNP with posh accents.

Friday, March 14

Selby superhero's fall from grace

Something’s afoot in the neighbourhood. Some young punk is causing trouble and there’s a damsel in distress on the streets of, err, Selby but soon a UKIP sign is roving across the night’s sky alerting the town’s new superhero to the danger. Minutes later a figure comes striding, well alright shuffling, through the mist. Pow! Ooooff! Clunk! It's Bloomman and he saves the day!

Yobs beware, Godfrey Bloom has volunteered to dispense summary justice on the streets of Yorkshire after his friend got a ticking off from the police following a falling out with a "foul-mouthed yobboe" over a parked van.

He concludes his letter (to the forces of darkness presumably) with "May I suggest we disband our now ineffectual uniformed police and let people like me and my colleague sort these anti-social morons out ourselves?"

Anyway back to the story...


Bloomman peels off his tights after another night fighting evil. Today’s crime? Kids not being allowed to drink tea at school. Pouring himself a drink, Bloomman soon reverts back to his everyday character of Godfrey Bloom, UKIP MEP for Yorkshire. His sidekick, the boy Arnott, hands him a letter informing him of his punishment for unparliamentary behaviour in the European Parliament. Sock! Pow! Zam! Crunch! Zlonk! It’s a fine!



Yes, the man standing up all things decent and good, Bloom has been fined for his part in December’s raucous protest in the European Parliament which disturbed a speech by the Portuguese Prime Minister, behaviour which could only be described as, well, yobbish.

But don't worry folks, Bloomman doesn't play by the rules, and in a typically maverick move he's apparently ready to do battle in the great 2009 European election dust-up. Kapow!

Thursday, March 13

Batten - Lets bring back the rope

Gerard Batten is an interesting political character - combining an unhealthy obsession with sharia law with political beliefs that put him slightly to the right of Genghis Khan.

It seems that part of his pitch to become London mayor is to bring back the death penalty, ignoring the fact that the death penalty is a barbaric practice that has no place in a civilised society and is no better than state-administered murder. U-kippers would do well not to base their policies on the book of Deuteronomy.

Needless to say Gerard's death penalty rant still managed to find a way to blame everything on the EU, claiming that "even if a British government had the guts to reinstate the death penalty they would be prevented from doing so" on the grounds that membership of the EU forbids capital punishment. It is, of course, true that this is one of the terms of EU membership. And a bloody good thing too.

Tuesday, March 11

UKIPs bid for Oscar glory

Demonstrating again their talent for making sinister film, UKIP have released "Remote Control", a video in which they again try to portray the EU as the epitome of evil. Alongside the stupidly portentous music come the usual cacophony of myths and exaggerations. One thing's for sure - the academy can sleep easy.

One of the odder claims in the film is that 98% of France's contributions to the EU budget go back to France, while the humble British taxpayer forks out £14bn a year. A little cursory research reveals that this is total rubbish. France makes a net contribution of £3bn per year, slightly less than the UK contribution of £3.9bn - incidentally, the net contributions of France and the UK combined are still less than the £8bn contribution made by Germany.

UKIPwatcher's favourite moment is when Nige Farage comments that "our way of life going back centuries is under threat". How Nige? Is the Lisbon Treaty going to abolish village cricket, steak and kidney pud and public schools?

Interestingly Nigel repeats his claim that 75% of UK laws are made in Brussels. As readers will be aware, this is a matter where U-kippers have tended to disagree, usually picking a random figure between 50 and 90% and passing it off as the gospel truth. However, Nige does seem to have settled on 75%, presumably against the advice of UKIP spin doctor Eliab Harvey aka Gawain Towler who wrote on this blog that "80%......is the figure that we will appropriate from now on". Clarification gentlemen, please!

Now the Devil's Kitchen deserts UKIP

UKIPs member haemorrhage continues unabated. The foul-mouthed old-Etonian Chris Mounsey, who runs the Devil's Kitchen blog, is the latest to jump ship, leaving UKIP to become communications director for the fledgling Libertarian party.

Chris Mounsey, who last year stood as a candidate for UKIPs NEC, is notorious for swear-ridden and violent blog posts. It's unclear how this philosophy will fit into a party whose motto is "for life, liberty and prosperity".

UKIPs feathery farce

UKIP have proudly unveiled their "Chicken Run" video detailing their protest against the European Parliament's endorsement of the Lisbon Treaty last month. It makes for fun viewing, not least for the spectacle the three chickens (UKIPwatch has it on good authority that all are UKIP parliamentary candidates), ably led by UKIP press officer Mr Harvey, who gets his feathers well and truly ruffled.

With the ridiculous portentous music (it's no wonder few genuine eurosceptics take UKIP seriously when they produce this melodramatic bilge), bemused Parliament officials and yellow-feathered farce, this film is like a cross between Creature Comforts and Armageddon.

Wednesday, March 5

Farage, the Sunday Times and family affairs

UKIPwatcher was amused by the story in last week's Sunday Times alleging that Nigel Farage was employing his wife and his son. Nige has vigorously denied employing his son and threatened to take legal action against the Sunday Times which has, as yet, not retracted the story. Rumours abound that the story may have been fed to the Sunday Times by a maverick U-kipper with an axe to grind with Farage (although UKIPwatcher appreciates that this doesn't narrow things down very much!).

However, the story was particularly surprising to UKIPwatcher as Master Farage is, apparently, such a devoted follower of his father's political career that he is a member of Conservative Future, the youth wing of the Tory party!!!

Notwithstanding the fact that it's distressing for a family to be divided by party politics - it'll be interesting to follow this one and see whether the Times backs down, not least because Farage put in a particularly bombastic performance on Newsnight just three days before the exposé.