Something’s afoot in the neighbourhood. Some young punk is causing trouble and there’s a damsel in distress on the streets of, err, Selby but soon a UKIP sign is roving across the night’s sky alerting the town’s new superhero to the danger. Minutes later a figure comes striding, well alright shuffling, through the mist. Pow! Ooooff! Clunk! It's Bloomman and he saves the day!
Yobs beware, Godfrey Bloom has volunteered to dispense summary justice on the streets of Yorkshire after his friend got a ticking off from the police following a falling out with a "foul-mouthed yobboe" over a parked van.
He concludes his letter (to the forces of darkness presumably) with "May I suggest we disband our now ineffectual uniformed police and let people like me and my colleague sort these anti-social morons out ourselves?"
Anyway back to the story...
Bloomman peels off his tights after another night fighting evil. Today’s crime? Kids not being allowed to drink tea at school. Pouring himself a drink, Bloomman soon reverts back to his everyday character of Godfrey Bloom, UKIP MEP for Yorkshire. His sidekick, the boy Arnott, hands him a letter informing him of his punishment for unparliamentary behaviour in the European Parliament. Sock! Pow! Zam! Crunch! Zlonk! It’s a fine!
Yes, the man standing up all things decent and good, Bloom has been fined for his part in December’s raucous protest in the European Parliament which disturbed a speech by the Portuguese Prime Minister, behaviour which could only be described as, well, yobbish.
But don't worry folks, Bloomman doesn't play by the rules, and in a typically maverick move he's apparently ready to do battle in the great 2009 European election dust-up. Kapow!